Rewrite your money story.
The sun is shining here in San Francisco, and I am perched up on my chair next to my window getting sun drunk while I write you this money love letter.
I have been in research mode as I gear up for the new 2022 year. Can you believe?!
I have been thinking about better ways to serve. Well, what's funny about this kind of work is that it certainly feels like a calling.
Six years ago on November 7th, my father unexpectedly died. That day is when I was called to this work. Knowing how precious and fragile life is, I decided to live bolder and braver.
Financial liberation for all became my life's mission. It still is.
So, I have spent the last couple of weeks reflecting on what that means.
Now, I am going to put myself on blast. I am an expert in this field. I have worked in the financial wellness and career development fields over the last 5+ years.
Yet, I look at my bank accounts, spreadsheets, monthly expenses, and pricing/offerings for my business and at times, I feel abundant.
But there are other times where I feel so much scarcity and start behaving in ways that AFFIRM I am scarce. For me, it's usually undervaluing myself by undercharging or giving away my time/expertise for free.
But something shifted these last couple of weeks. My therapist was the first to bring up that I was undervaluing myself and my services. That turned into a ripple effect. I began to listen to more podcasts about confidence and self worth. I started a couple of books that encouraged me to raise my rates and re-evaluate my pricing. Boundaries and also saying “no” a lot came up as well.
For example, as a financial expert, I have a lot of friends and family members expecting to get free advice and old Stella would've been so focused on being “helpful” and “nice” but not anymore. My boundaries are strong.
This got me thinking. I was changing my behavior to reflect that I DO in fact value myself and my offerings because I surrounded myself with people, businesses, podcasts, books, and other things that affirmed that.
Take this Stanford University School of Medicine study. Researches studied 240 children ages seven to 10 and found that being positive improved their ability to answer math problems, increased their memories and enhanced problem-solving abilities. They also used MRI brain scans to map the neurological effects of positivity.
Their study affirmed that positivity does, in fact, open up more opportunities for children to do well.
Now I am not about toxic positivity and emotionally bypassing your experience. I think the key here is to acknowledge and hold space for your emotions, but to take action as best to your ability from a place of awareness, clarity, compassion, and self worth.
Another healing shift I began to think about and embody is that I am not scarce. I am not broke. The numbers show me that I AM abundant.
So why have I felt like I am living in scarcity and “can't afford” things? Where is this noise coming from?
I looked at my identities. I am queer, nonbinary, first generation, femme, and mixed filipinx/european.
What is the messaging (and experience) that reaches the community I am in (QTBIPOC)?
That we need to assimilate. Keep our heads down. Work hard for the bread crumbs and be grateful. That we are bad with money and are meant to live a life of being broke and/or in poverty. That money, wealth, and success are NOT for us. That we have to martyr ourselves. That we have to EARN our humanity and ability to thrive!
That is bullshit.
I had surrounded myself with incredible QTBIPOC mentors who are financially thriving. Folks that have gone through absolute shit due to the systemic issues not just in the United States but throughout the world.
They are abundant. Successful (in their own definition). Wealthy. Most importantly, they are living a life with as much agency as they can and reimagining and LEADING the path for a more equitable, thriving, and just economy.
I invite you to listen to this illuminating podcast episode by Hello Seven with Rachel Rodgers and Rachel Cargle. There is a wealth (pun intended) of wisdom here.
A part of My Gold Standard's calling is to “rewrite your money story.”
How will you start rewriting your money story?
And if you already have started…
How will you continue?
