LESSONS FROM MY SATURN RETURN.

I write this money love letter while on a plane, where I am headed to Chile to embark on the O Trek in Torres Del Paine.

I've been dreaming of this trip since 2015. Here I am, finally on my way. This trip will be 80+ miles of joy, tears, frustration, grief, and a shedding of the old and embracing the new.

I can't believe I am here. If only you new what it took to get here. No words could really explain or hold the journey of 2015 till now. My father passed, I fell in love, I got my heart broken, I entered an entirely new career path and passion, I moved back to California, and I started (and ended) a new chapter with therapy.

The last three years of my mental health journey have been the most work I have ever done. Three years ago, there would have been no way I could have done this trek. It had to be now.

Because now, I learned how to radically accept all the pain I went through and transform the trauma I endured into love, resilience, and compassion.

The pain is still there. The trauma still happened. There is still more work to do…

But I am the most free I have ever been in my entire life.

The other day, I had my last session with my therapist (for the time being) and we said our goodbyes. She said it was important for me to have this, this goodbye, because I never got to say goodbye to my father when he died. She asked me, “How do you want to say goodbye, here?"

I ruminated over that question for a whole month before our final session. I didn't want to say goodbye. I don't like goodbyes. Goodbyes SUCK.

But goodbyes are everywhere. We hug our loved ones goodbye after hanging out over a cup of coffee. We say goodbye on the phone after a nourishing conversation with a friend. People move away, and we say our goodbyes as we see them enter a new chapter of life. We quit our jobs and say goodbye to our coworkers and clients. We say goodbye to relationships through a separation. We say goodbye to versions of ourselves that we are outgrowing, many many times in life.

What is so wonderful about goodbyes is that they are accompanied with a hello.

A hello to a new chapter. A new life. A new love. A new you.

I was curious why this felt so full circle for me. I decided to check when my Saturn Return ended…

March 7th, 2023.

7 is a special number to me. My father was born on the 7th and died on the 7th. 

I have many ancestors that, too, were born and/or died on the 7th.

On March 7th, I landed in Puerto Natales, the town just outside of Torres Del Paine. 

I officially leave for the O trek on the morning of March 8th.

It's wild how all of this came to be. I feel guided by my father, my ancestors, my therapist, my loved ones (to all my clients, this includes you), and all the versions of me that coexists within and is making space for a new me to bloom.

I am feeling an immense amount of gratitude to all the above.

I am also feeling an immense amount of gratitude to money. Money being the tool that got me here. Hint: it was a lot of saving, planning, compromise, and saying “no” to make this even possible. Sometimes we have to say no in the present, to say yes to our future.

Money has been so symbolic for me. Ever since my father died, and I received a portion of what he had left in his 401k, never in my life did I think money meant anything until that moment. I knew that every single dollar I received from there on out I had to make matter. Not just for me, but for the collective. I knew that receiving ANYTHING at all from my father was a privilege. I don't know how 24 year old Stella knew that, but I am so grateful they did.

How has money been a symbol for you in your life?

What are ways money has shown up for you and been a tool to abundant, nourishing, and expansive experiences? 

I'd love to hear from you.

For now, I say my goodbyes to this chapter of my life.

I can't wait to say hello to you all on the other side. ❤️

Stay Shiny,