MY GOLD STANDARD'S END OF YEAR REFLECTIONS.

What a year. WHAT a year it has been.

I am currently in a burrito blanket on my couch after a morning of intense boxing and honestly, I feel like this year I officially peaked.

You know what's wild though?

Nothing around me really changed. I mean, it did…but it's mostly because I changed.

I shaked shit up in my business. Most importantly, I shaked shit up in my life.  

At the start of the year, my word was expansion. This couldn't be more true.

I definitely expanded in ALL the ways this year.

Specifically, I learned how to thrive.

My therapist told me about “thriving” and I thought that was a whole bunch of hoohah or some kind of unicorn destination in life that wasn't really real or possible for someone like me (a person who lives with complex PTSD, depression, and neurospicyness).

LOL, whew I was wrong.

Because THIS year? I learnt that it was possible.

This was the money love letter I wrote at the beginning of 2022.

Now that i'm finishing up with My Gold Standard's 2023, I want this to be something I share at the end of each year.

My learnings, un-learnings, and all the things I am celebrating as I reflect on the last year.

So let's get into it, shall we?

#1. My relationship with money is the best it's every been.

I can't really tell you specifically why that is, but I sure will try. It's been YEARS in the making. I think it's because I knew that if I was going to be a full time entrepreneur, I really had to get my financial shit in order. The numbers were in order, but I was still carrying the past money stories I had to address with myself. A lot of these money stories were around suffering, martyrdom, scarcity, lack of financial security, oppression, and guilt. Yes, I too, have a lot of baggage around money! The real talk is that none of that stuff has gone away. I still get BIG MONEY FEELS (you'll see this again…hint hint) but the difference is that I am able to metabolize and move through it with resilience.

I worked hard to build this relationship with money. It takes work, discipline, and intention. Most importantly, it takes RADICAL self acceptance and compassion. This became my anchor. Through this, I've seen my own financial numbers change.

This year my business brought $65,571 in gross revenue compared to the $17,759 last year.

My business expenses totaled to being $39,975.

And I began to pay myself $2,000 a month.

I invested an average of $500 a month in my general brokerage account and Solo 401k (which I opened this year heyooo)! 

I paid off both my business and personal credit cards that were on 0% APR in time before interest kicked in.

And because of this my credit score went from 764 to 797.

I also raised my prices twice because I discovered that I was SEVERELY undercharging my services! My goodness was this was a kick in the ass to realize.

I went on three GUILT and financially STRESS free trips to New Orleans, Canada/Montana, and Italy. I saved so much money for these trips ($15k baby!) so I could fully enjoy myself without worrying if I had enough.

I took a total of 5 weeks off, made my first hire, and I paid all my quarterly taxes on time, too.

I feel EFFING amazing reflecting all of this back to you because people in entrepreneurship always talk about hitting six figures, $10k months, or even surpassing a millie (which is STILL a dream y'all) but nobody shares the journey before all of that. I'm so proud of this journey. 

I felt like this entire year, I stayed in integrity with myself and my business. Things did get hard. There were many months and quarters where it was looking real tight and I reconsidered going back to a 9-5 again…but I'm so grateful I leaned into expanding my window of resilience, got comfortable being uncomfortable, and embraced the seasons of my business revenue without having a meltdown.

Okay, maybe I had a meltdown or two. Who doesn't? BUT, I didn't make any rash decisions. 

#2. I advocated for myself, over and over again.

I used to be “shove it down and forget about all my feelings because I don't want to ruffle any feathers” ROYALTY, y'all. Like, I could REALLY withhold, suffer in silence, and nobody would have a clue because I was just that good at masking. This was out of fear. I hated hurting people, but most of all, when I HAVE spoken up in the past - it was always met with hostility.

This year, I spoke my truth…even if that truth hurt.

And I let go of being responsible for how other's received it.

I'll give two examples of this.

The first example is that I invested in a group coaching program and the facilitator made it very clear at the beginning that this was inclusive to female identifying and nonbinary people. 

But I was misgendered constantly by the facilitator. Instead of suffering in silence and saying “it is what it is” I actually said something. Both times I spoke up (because it happened multiple times), I was met with understanding, grace, collaboration, and even accountability. I knew the reaction could be a hostile one, but I still took that risk because to me advocating for myself, no matter what, is always worth the risk.

The second example is actually more personal. My relationship with my Mom has always been incredible nuanced. We were estranged for some time of it (I didn't speak to her for two years) and I never felt like I could be myself around her. But this year, I told her what I needed to feel good about having a relationship with her, and we reconnected. I even let her into my life more and more, and leaned on her for some things I needed support on this year. I never thought I could have a relationship with my Mom like this, and I feel the most closest to her now than I ever have in my entire life. Through her, I learned so much about my ancestors which was so, so important for me, too.

I have had a lot of bad experienced from speaking up in the past, but this year, I am really celebrating that I continued to speak up.

#3. I asked for help.

Asking for help SUCKS. It has NEVER felt good to receive because my natural tendency is to over give. It was always uncomfortable, feelings of unworthiness came up, and I just felt overwhelmed by it. Like, if I receive something….I am indebted to that person, place, or thing.

Also, it's because I felt guilty for having needs. I felt like my needs were too much.

This was also a vital experience and pillar in my relationship to money. I leaned a lot on my therapist, partner, friendships/community, and when I felt extremely burnt out by my business, I went and hired a virtual assistant. 

This year, I experienced being in receivership. I DO HAVE A LOT OF NEEDS! That doesn't make me too much. It's just what I need, right now. 

So, I asked for help. A LOT. 

I saw my therapist 3x a week. Shout out to all the therapists out there. You are the real ones.

I gave my VA a clear list of things I needed support with each week.

I cried to friends, my partner, and even my Mom about my struggles and challenges and they poured so much love, care, and support in me. :')

I am so grateful for all the people that showed up with me. If you're reading this, you know who you are. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Because I would not be here without y'all.

#4. I focused on my body.

Sometimes being in my mind for too long felt debilitating. I had to learn how to get out of my mind and into my body.

I expanded the months I spent sober. De-centering alcohol from my life was the best thing I ever did for myself. I have so much energy, a clear head, incredible skin (heh), and my mental health is thriving. Even when I am partaking in drinking, it is very, very limited and continues to become less over time. I honestly think that one day, I might eliminate alcohol completely from my life. We shall see. 

I also invested in a four week boxing bootcamp! For the last four weeks, I have showed up M-F at 6AM. NEVER in a million years did I think I was capable of doing this or that my body was capable of being SO resilient!! I officially completed the four weeks, and I am DEFINITELY celebrating that humongous milestone because getting into my body has been very hard for me to do in the past. But now?

I'm obsessed. I might even sign up for round two in January! LOL. Who am I?!?!?!?

side note: This boxing bootcamp was a total cost of $630. This was a milestone to mentally and emotionally move through. I went back and forth thinking this was way too “expensive” and “who am I to spend money like that” or, “what if I invest in this, and end up quitting?" But if you read my reflection above….there is no dollar amount that makes up the value of what it means to be reunited with your body, mind, and spirit. 

#5. I gave myself permission to experiment.

I don't need all the answers to roll up my sleeves and take the leap. I jumped into things not knowing if it was going to work out and I just allowed myself to play. This is what experimentation is all about. This is what creativity is all about.

You experiment by taking action, and that action is what brings answers. NO. 

That action is what brings clarity. 

Because usually I have found that I don't really need all the answers.

We put so much pressure on ourselves to know it all before we actually do something. Or, we end up not doing anything because we keep stretching on what it means to “be ready” to take the leap.

This doesn't mean I jumped into things without intention. I just made sure that my experiment, no matter the outcome, was worth taking that risk for.

To all my manifestors out there (human design, anyone?), you know how it is.

Last but not least, I really want to shine a light on My Gold Standard's clients. The financial milestones I got to witness were just beyond. The work they have all committed to this last 2022 year was not always easy either. However, they all continued to show up for themselves in all the ways: past, present, and future.

At the beginning of every financial journey, it always starts with a dream. But that dream doesn't feel realistic. To come full circle, it's almost like when my therapist told me about thriving. Pffft. Thriving? That's not real! 

But I hold each and every one of my client's dreams to heart and let them know: anything is possible, and if this is truly what you really want….here's how you make that happen. 

At first, they don't believe me. :P

I can share with you all the goals and financial milestones they've all achieved…but I want to share the biggest milestone of all within each and every one of my clients which is: 

They begin to believe in their dreams, too.

So shout out to all my clients, for being big dreamers like me. I love you all.

I never really liked new year's resolutions but I do love dreaming. I have so many dreams for 2023….and some are already in the works. I can't wait to share the journey of my dreams coming true with you all, and just know that when I'm typing out these money love letters, I'm holding all your dreams to heart, too.

I don't have to know what they are to know that they are possible for you, too. :') 

Cheers to our dreams, friends! I hope you have a happy holidays and a gorgeous rest of your year.

Stay Shiny,